Children Coping with Divorce
Some children go through divorce with relatively few problems while others have a very difficult time. For children divorce can be stressful, sad and confusing.
Your words, actions and ability to remain consistent are all important tools to reassure your children of your unchanging love. You may wonder what to say, how to say it, and what your child needs. These are all important questions.
What a child wants and needs during a divorce
- For both parents to stay involved in their life to make them feel important and loved
- For both parents to work hard at getting along so the child doesn’t feel like they did something wrong
- Support from both parents without jealousy or being caught in the middle
- Positive reinforcement from each parent about one another
What parents should say, and how they should say it
- Tell the truth
- Tell them you love them
- Talk openly about the changes going on in the family
- Answer their questions honestly
- Avoid blame
- Give age-appropriate explanations
- Share important details like new living arrangements
It is normal for children to feel a range of difficult emotions but time, love and reassurance can help in healing. If things get worse rather than better it may be a sign that your child requires additional support. Here are some red flags to watch for:
- Sleep problems
- Trouble in school
- Poor concentration
- Self-injury, cutting, or eating disorders
- Frequent angry or violent outbursts
- Withdrawal from loved ones
- Drug and/or alcohol abuse
By providing stability, structure and the comfort of routines, children know what to expect, which can aid in the transition. If you are struggling, there are qualified professionals who can help you, your child and the rest of your family find solutions. At Family TLC we believe that successful parenting requires both love and knowledge.
